The Misplaced Toe
by sj1
Summary: This one takes place after the Thanksgiving Episode in the 5th Season. I want to know if you thought it was funny or disgusting. Please R&R.


FRIENDS Additional Episode: Season 508.5 TOW: The Misplaced Toe Written By: SJ Wong

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Rating: PG   
This fanfic is a continuation of TOW All the Thanksgiving Flashbacks - Nobody knows about C&M except Joey. The gang was reminiscing about past Thanksgivings. One, Joey gets his head stuck in a turkey. Two, Chandler calls Monica fat. Third, Monica accidentally cut off Chandler's toe. This fanfic takes place later that night after Chandler found out he lost his toe because he called Monica fat the year before. 

Scene: The boy's apartment, two in the morning, the lights are out and everyone is asleep. Ross is a sleep on the sofa. The front door opens gently and Monica quietly comes in. She sneaks pass Ross and goes into Chandler's room. The camera moves to Chandler's room. Monica comes in and smile when she sees Chandler, remembering what he said earlier that evening about loving her. He is a sleep on his back, on one side of the bed, as if making room for her. Monica lays down next to him and watches him sleep. He always looks so cute when he's asleep. She notice a slight smile on his face, was he dreaming about her, she wondered. Looking at him, she couldn't resist, she lean over and whispers. 

MONICA: I love you too (She kisses him on the cheek).   
CHANDLER (stirs and open his eyes to see Monica next to him, he smiles and whispers): For a second, I thought Eddie was back. How did you get pass the Ross guard?   
MONICA: After a big turkey dinner, he sleeps like a rock.   
CHANDLER: Now, that's one thing to be thankful for.   
MONICA: Are you still angry with me? (Chandler looks at her and notice the concern in her face.)   
CHANDLER: Hold a grudge over a lost toe or enjoy the company of my beautiful Monica, that's a tough decision (he smiles his mischievous smile).   
MONICA: Here's something to tip the scale (Monica leans over and gives Chandler a passionate kiss.)   
CHANDLER: I think you broke the scale with that one (A satified Monica smiles, she settles in for a comforting hug from Chandler).   
MONICA: I felt really awful that night. (Chandler gives her a reassuring kiss on the forehead.)   
CHANDLER: I know. (All of a sudden, Monica leans up and looks at him.)   
MONICA: Do you remember anything else that happen that night? (Chandler gives Monica a puzzled look.)   
CHANDLER: I remember coming back from the hospital and Ross putting me to bed. And then I passed out. (Monica has this uncomfortable look on her face.) Okay, what did you do? Short sheet me while I was sleeping?   
MONICA: No nothing like that, tho Rachel wanted to. I was just wondering if you remembered our first kiss.   
CHANDLER: We kissed? 

The Geller's House - They have just come back from the hospital. Chandler is given a sedative and is sleeping in Monica's bed. Feeling guilty, Monica is upstair, taking care of him. 

SCENE: The Geller's Living Room - Ross is sitting on the sofa. Jack and Judy Geller are clearing up the table. Their Thanksgiving dinner ruin by the events of the evening. 

ROSS: What a rotten Thanksgiving! How could Monica have been so clumsy!   
JACK: Don't get mad at Monica. She was probably defending herself against your friend. I saw how he was leering at her! She was probably just warning him off.   
ROSS: By cutting off his toe! Isn't that a little severe!   
JACK: You know your sister, she never does anything half way.   
JUDY: Speaking of toe, Ross, would you be a dear, and go in the kitchen and find it?   
ROSS: Why me???!!! Monica should do that, she's the one who cut it off!   
JUDY: Your sister is busy upstair taking care of your friend and I would like that toe out of my kitchen, NOW.   
JACK: Yes Ross, he is your guest. You should be a good and responsible friend and find his toe for him.   
ROSS: What good is it? It's not like he can use it again! (Judy is starting to breath heavily. She is getting aggitated. Jack sees this, walks over to Ross and whispers in his ear.)   
JACK: You better go find it, your mother is about to have one of her fits! (Ross starts to get up looking a little scared, but it was too late. His mother was already in front of him. She leans over and grab him by the collar.)   
JUDY: I want that toe out of my kitchen now! I don't care how you do it! Just do it! (Ross squeak out.)   
ROSS: Yes mommy. (He runs into the kitchen.) 

SCENE: Monica's Bedroom - Chandler is laying, in Monica's bed, out cold. Monica is fussing around the bed to make sure Chandler is comfortable. Rachel is sitting at Monica's desk, nosing around. Monica stops and looks at Chandler intently. 

MONICA: You know, he's kind of cute when he's asleep. (Rachel drops whatever she is doing, comes over and gives Chandler the once over.)   
RACHEL: I don't see it. (Monica turns and look at Rachel.)   
MONICA: Look at those lips, and he has the cutest earlobes.   
RACHEL: They look like regular lobes to me.   
MONICA: What about his eyes? He has the most beautiful blues eyes.   
RACHEL: His eyes are closed.   
MONICA: I know that. (Realizing Monica isn't making sense, Rachel changes the subject.)   
RACHEL: How long is he going to be out?   
MONICA: The doctor gave him a sedative, because of his anxiety attack, over the tetanus shot. He'll probably be out all night.   
RACHEL: Want to play a joke on him? (She giggles.) Ohhh Ohhh, we could draw a mustache and beard on his face! (Another thought comes to her.) Or better yet we can dress him up in one of your old dresses. (Monica gives Rachel a disapproving look.) Come on it be fun. 

SCENE: The Geller's Living Room - Jack and Judy are still cleaning up. Ross comes out of the kitchen. 

ROSS: I can't find it. I've looked everwhere and I can't find it.   
JUDY: Look harder!   
ROSS: There is no place a toe can hide. (A thought comes to him.) A rat, probably, found it and ate it.   
JUDY: A rat, my kitchen does not have rats. How dare you even suggest that! I keep that kitchen spotless! Are you insinuating... (Ross get scared and turns around ready to retreat back into the kitchen.)   
ROSS: Maybe it's under the refrigerator. (He runs back into the kitchen while his mother is yelling.)   
JUDY: I have you know I spend hours cleaning that kitchen! (She opens the kitchen door and yells at Ross.) And don't you come out again til you have that toe, in your hand! 

SCENE: Monica's Bedroom - Chandler is still out cold. Monica is standing in front of the bed, as if protecting him from Rachel. Rachel has a marking pen in her hand. 

RACHEL: C'mon Mon. I thought you wanted to get back at him.   
MONICA: We are not doing anything to him! He already lost body parts because of me!   
RACHEL: But he called you fat!   
MONICA: And I cutted off his toe! (Not having anything else to persuade Monica, Rachel repeated.)   
RACHEL: Yeah, but he called you fat!   
MONICA: Rachel stop it. I'm not going to let you do anything to him.   
RACHEL: How about lipstick and eye shadow, it comes right off.   
MONICA: NO! (Rachel decides to give up. She sits down at Monica desk and asks.)   
RACHEL: So you want to tell me how it happened?   
MONICA: I was just doing what you told me.   
RACHEL: That's funny. I don't remember telling you to pick up a knife and cut off his toe.   
MONICA: Well, your advice was stupid.   
RACHEL: Yes, it's my fault for giving a beginner such advance techniques.   
MONICA: You think I'm an idiot!   
RACHEL: I didn't say that. I'm just saying, you're a virgin. You know, innocent, inexperienced.   
MONICA(offended): Immature, naive and stupid!   
RACHEL: I didn't say you were stupid!   
MONICA: Just because I haven't been around, around, around and around the block as often as you have! (Rachel takes offense at this. She stands up.)   
RACHEL: Our you calling me a slut???!!!   
MONICA: Well, you would know the answer to that!   
RACHEL: You are calling me a slut!!! How dare you, you, you prissy virgin! Oh! I'm sweet little innocent Monica, waiting for the perfect man to give my flower to. (Monica gets upset.)   
MONICA: There is nothing wrong with a person with moral and standards! (Rachel anger escalate.)   
RACHEL: You are a mean woman, I mean girl, Monica Geller!   
MONICA: And you are a snotty, know it all, Rachel Green! I think you should leave.   
RACHEL: Gladly! The room is getting awfully stuffy! (Rachel starts walking toward the door. She opens the door, turns around and looks at Monica.)   
RACHEL: I bet you've never even been kissed!   
MONICA: Sure I have!   
RACHEL: Kisses from your daddy don't count. (With that parting shot Rachel leaves the room and slams the door. Monica drops down to the floor and a tear falls down her eye.)   
MONICA (sad): I've been kissed, just not from someone I was attracted to. (With that she looks over at Chandler. She was upset at what Rachel said. Not because she felt it was mean, but because she felt it was true. Because of her inexperience with men and her clumsiness, she cause Chandler to lose a toe.) 

SCENE: The Geller's Living Room - Jack and Judy are sitting on the sofa watching TV. An angry Rachel runs down the stairs and out the door without even saying goodbye. 

JUDY: What do you think happen upstair?   
JACK: Teenage girls.   
JUDY: So?   
JACK: Do I really need to elaborate? (Knowing what her husband was getting at Judy nod in agreement. Ross comes in the room, with a tissue in his hand, rolled up in a ball.)   
ROSS: I founded it! (Not even looking away from the television, Judy respond.)   
JUDY: Show your father.   
ROSS: Why?   
JUDY: I just want to be sure it's not another carrot.   
ROSS: I'm studying to be a paleontologist, don't you think I would know a toe from a carrot???!!!   
JUDY: I'm not questioning your skills dear. It's just that...   
ROSS: You don't trust me! Mother, I'm hurt, I'm really hurt!   
JUDY: Stop the dramatics Ross and show your father the toe. (Knowing she wasn't falling for it, a defeated Ross turns around and goes back into the kitchen. 

SCENE: Monica's Bedroom - Chandler is still asleep. Monica walks up to the bed and looks down at him. She is hesitant at first then she gently runs her finger over his lips. There was no reaction from him. She smiles confidentally, bends over cautiously and gives him a light kiss on the lips. After the kiss, she again study his face intently for any sign of movement. No response, he just layed there peaceful in slumber. Here was her chance to lose some of her naivete from her inexperience. She convinced herself that Chandler wouldn't mind. After all, he found her attractive and most men welcome advances from an attractive woman even in their sleep. With that thought in mind, she leaned in for another kiss. 

SCENE: The Geller's Living Room - Jack and Judy are still watching TV. Ross comes in the room with an open tissue in his hand. 

ROSS: Okay, I've found it. (He shows it to his parents.)   
JACK: Wow, it has an uncanny resemblest to Grandpa Joe's!   
JUDY: Doesn't the boy ever cut his nails?   
ROSS(annoyed): Would you please! (They both look up at Ross.) So now what do we do with it? (They all think.)   
JACK: I've got it! Just do what you did with your dead pet goldfish. I don't think it's big enough to clog.   
ROSS: I don't want to have to explain to my friend that I flushed his toe down the toilet.   
JUDY: Just throw it in the garbage and don't tell him anything.   
ROSS: What if he asks?   
JACK: Just lie. It be good practice for you when you step out into the real world. (Totally annoyed with his parents.)   
ROSS: I'm going to give it to Monica and let her take care of it.   
JACK AND JUDY: That works. (Ross turns around and start walking toward the stairs, he trips on something, and the toe goes flying across the room and out of sight. Ross is laying on the floor, totally frustrated. He wants to swear, but realizing his parents are within earshot, he yells out.)   
ROSS: Shiiiippp!!!!   
JACK: Where??? (Jack gets up and looks around.) 

SCENE: Monica's Bedroom - Monica wet her lips, ready to practice more kissing techniques on a sleeping Chandler. She leaned in and touched his lips gently with hers, gradually increasing the pressure. He had such soft lips, she thought. She continues for several moment, when suddenly she realize that his lips were responding to hers. This startled her and she stopped what she was doing to look down at him. The only difference she saw, was that he had a slight smile on his face but his eyes were still closed. Believing he was still out cold and enjoying the kiss, in his sleep. She decided it wouldn't hurt to resume the activity. She could not believe he could response so actively in his sleep. His hands wandered up and gently stroked her hair. He was awakening feelings in her she never experienced before. All of sudden, she heard footstep outside the door, and she jumps back. She looked down at Chandler and he just layed there as if nothing had happened. The door open and Ross pokes his head in. 

ROSS: Here's the toe, what do you want to do with it??? 

SCENE: Back to the Present - Chandler and Monica are laying in bed. Chandler sits up. (Surprised.) 

CHANDLER: You took advantage of me???!!! While I layed there totally helpless. (a revelation comes to mind) No wonder I had those strange dreams after I left your house.   
MONICA: You dreamt about me?   
CHANDLER: Yes, a woman with no face but the softest lips. That was you! That dream haunted me for months.   
MONICA(happy): It did.   
CHANDLER (stern): Monica, you should have, at least, told me what you did.   
MONICA: It was just a kiss. You know like how the prince kiss Sleeping Beauty.   
CHANDLER (upset): The difference is he was trying to cure her sleeping disorder! (Monica couldn't believe that Chandler was being so sensitive about this. I mean he's a guy.)   
MONICA: You seem to be enjoying it.   
CHANDLER: It would have been nicer if I gave you permission.   
MONICA: Are you saying you're upset at me for kissing you? (Chandler gets a mischievous grin on his face.)   
CHANDLER: No, I just wanted some more scale tipping. (Monica picks up a pillow gets up on her knees and hit Chandler in the face.) So that is how you want to play it? (He picks up the other pillow and holds it up menancingly at Monica.)   
MONICA: Shhh! Don't! You might wake up Ross! (Chandler look at Monica with a "you're not playing fair" look on his face. He drops the pillow and grab her leg instead. She falls over and he starts tickling her.) Stop it Chandler. (She giggles. Chandler is about to kiss her, when all of a sudden, the door to the room opens and Ross is standing in the doorway.)   
ROSS (upset): What is going on in here? (Seeing Monica he gets more upset.) Monica what are you doing in Chandler's room at this time of night? (They both sit up, feeling very uncomfortable.)   
MONICA (innocent): Why? What time is it?   
ROSS: It's the time where everyone should be in their own bed! So what is going on here???!!! (Nervously Monica explains)   
MONICA: Well...I couldn't sleep...I, I kept thinking about Chandler's toe and him being mad at me. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay between us.   
ROSS: So what was all the laughing?   
MONICA: We were talking, I apologized, he accepted, we were hugging and I fell over. We were just laughing at my clumsiness (Ross looks at them suspiciously.)   
ROSS: Well, since you guys are okay now, I guess you can go back to your apartment, Mon?   
MONICA: Actually, Chandler and I have a few more things to settle.   
CHANDLER: Oh Ross, thanks for not flushing my toe down the toilet. (With that comment, Ross realizes they were actually just talking.)   
ROSS: Just keep it down before you wake up Joey. (He closes the door.)   
MONICA (whisper): Nice save. Anyway, I better get going (Monica gives Chandler a quick kiss and walks toward the door. She has her hand on the doorknob.)   
CHANDLER: Hey, Mon. (She turns around.)   
MONICA: Yes.   
CHANDLER: What did happen to my toe?   
MONICA: I put it in a nice wooden box and buried it next to my favorite tree in the back yard.   
CHANDLER: I hope it wasn't Oak. (Monica gives him a puzzled look.) I'm allergic to it. 

SCENE: It's the day after Thanksgiving. Up on the roof of the apartment building, there's a blanket layed out with leftover food from a recent picnic. Next to it is a lounge chair with Chandler and Monica snuggled under a blanket together. 

MONICA: This was a good idea.   
CHANDLER: Well with Ross always around, you have to get creative. Is it to cold for you? (Monica pulls Chandler arms closer around her.)   
MONICA: No this is perfection. (Chandler gives her a kiss on the cheek.)   
CHANDLER: Hey, Mon?   
MONICA: Hmmmm?   
CHANDLER: Since you thought I was hot way back then...you know during Thanksgiving. Why didn't we get together back then?   
MONICA (smile): Don't you remember what happened the morning after? 

SCENE: Monica's old bedroom - It is morning and Chandler is laying in bed. Monica comes in with a tray of food and a big smile on her face. 

CHANDLER: Well, if it isn't Lizzie Borden want-to-bee. (Monica ignores his statement.)   
MONICA: I brought you some breakfast. (Monica walks over to her desk to put down the tray.)   
CHANDLER: That is so KNIFE of you. Whatcha got there, egg and TOE...st? Hash Brown potaTOEs? Or perhaps TOEmaTOES Omelet. (Monica feeling guilty, became very annoyed with him for teasing her. She was in the process of slicing bananas for his oatmeal. She turns around with a knife in her hand.)   
MONICA: I cut off your toe. It was an accident, okay! I'm sorry. (She turns back to her cutting. Chandler has this scared look on his face. Visions of the movie "Misery" comes to mind. (I know, the movie was done in 1990.))   
CHANDLER (nervous): Where's Ross? Where's your mom and dad?   
MONICA(still upset): Ross went for a run, dad's golfing with Mr. Burkes and my mom went to the store.   
CHANDLER(nervous): You mean I'm alone... with you!   
MONICA: Yes for now. Well, here's your breakfast. (Monica turns around with a bowl of oatmeal in her hand. Chandler react hysterically.)   
CHANDLER: Don't come near me. (He pushes the blanket off, as if, to jump out of bed and he knocks the oatmeal out of Monica's hand. The food and bowl goes flying up and comes down on Monica's head. She gives him an angry stare, turns around and run out of the room.) 

SCENE: Back to the roof. 

CHANDLER: Ahhh yes, the old Chandler. It took years of work to get the kinks out.   
MONICA: You are a work in progress but I lo...ike you anyway. (Chandler gives her a funny look.)And do you remember what you did to me at Ross's Wedding?   
CHANDLER: Hmmm, London.   
MONICA: Not that one, his first wedding.   
CHANDLER: Oh yes that. Hey, that was not totally my fault. (pause in thought) You did look pretty funny. (He giggles.) And remember the look of shock on your mother's face. (All of a sudden he notice Monica getting upset. He leans in.) Don't be mad at me. I didn't plan it, it just happened. (All of a sudden Monica's expression change.)   
MONICA (smiles): Gotcha, now it's your turn to do some scale tipping.   
CHANDLER: No problem.(He leans in to give her a passionate kiss.) THE END 


End file.
